it feels a bit weird writing a post for my ‘travel blog’ now that I’m back home in australia. but it was such a rollercoaster of seven months, as you all read, so I feel like it’s warranted.
as it was proclaimed all over facebook, I came home very early christmas eve morning – 4am early – much to the surprise of everybody – most importantly my family – except a very few number of people, maybe 5. it was probably the best kept secret ever, it took all my strength not to let it slip, particularly as I booked the return flight late august; almost 4 months of keeping my ‘poker face’ on whenever I facetimed the family. I’m also a shocking liar, so to keep trying to lie to the family about how sad I was to be missing christmas was difficult. but I managed to get the job done.
me and the box I arrived in
one of the first things I did when I came inside my house was drink water straight out of our kitchen tap. directly. no cup, just my gob right underneath it and drinking the deliciousness that is pure water without cholera or typhoid or some sort of parasitic disease. that was pretty damn exciting, in fact it still is. particularly when I can open my mouth in the shower and actually swallow the water… I still have moments of showering and opening my mouth and straight away spitting it out. I wonder if the novelty of our water will ever wear off. the mind boggles that we use beautifully clean drinking water to bathe with, or to shit in, when it’s now 2014 and there still isn’t easily accessible or clean drinking water for a huge percentage of the world.
when I opened my fridge and saw it completely full of food, I fell silent. even though it was just before christmas – where you’d expect most fridges to be full – I know for a fact that the kids back in nairobi wouldn’t have that. even the pantry was full; overflowing. I walked into my laundry – yes, an actual laundry! not a bucket and water from the tap or the well, no hands required, no sore knuckles after rubbing your clothes together to get mud and dirt out. it was a proper laundry, with a washing machine and a dryer. now that was a very welcome sight! after washing my clothes by hand for nearly seven months, I was very excited, probably like a kid would in a lolly shop.
initially, coming home was exhilarating but so sad; it’s not easy to describe and I wonder if the only people who will really understand are other people or volunteers who lived in africa, or any other third world country for extended periods of time. seeing my family made me so happy, and the fact that I managed to surprise them made it all worth it, but I couldn’t help overwhelming feelings of sadness that my christmas was going to be so much more extravagant than what the kids back in kenya would be having. christmas then in that sense was quite overwhelming. it’s difficult to put it into words but maybe it was the sheer wealth that we have in australia – I don’t mean just in a monetary sense. we have everything we could ever want, and yet still want more. and I suppose I was also pretty bloody tried, after having travelled 30-something hours to get home. but I was lucky to come home in time to see my cousin megan super pregnant and then a week later, on new year’s day, a beautiful new baby cousin – toby ross wilkie – came into the world. what a way to start 2014!
there was one occasion in early january when I was dragged to chadstone shopping centre by mum at some point after christmas, very much almost kicking and screaming (everyone knows how much I hate that place and hate shopping). we walked through the food court and I was completely gobsmacked, for use of a better word. so, much, food, and a lot of it wasted. I really hated seeing that, because I’ve actually seen kids sifting through rubbish to find something to eat. and here, we just throw food away, even if it’s a day old – because it’s taking up room in the fridge. we cook too much, we eat too much, we drink too much. I’m guilty of all of the above, but I’m going to try and consciously change.
other things I’ve noticed that are extremely different include the fact that bananas here in australia are just not that good. in fact, if there’s one thing that east africa does well, that is growing delicious bananas. as well as driving down any road or street and seeing actual houses, not just sheds/shanty’s constructed out of corrugated iron. that took a while to get used to. we are so goddamn lucky.
but sadly there’s been some downfalls to me coming home. I’ve realised that people don’t change, even if I have, but wouldn’t it be amazing if everyone could see things from a difference perspective once in a while. unfortunately, now that I’m home, I can’t avoid getting involved with friend problems, I can’t avoid ongoing issues with a guy who has been a large part of my life for a long time now etc etc. I guess that was a luxury of being so far away, so far removed – being on the outside gives great perspective but when you’re back in the country, it’s not so easy to be diplomatic or impartial. it’s hard too because problems like that aren’t really problems. I just got an email today from evelyn at little ray of hope, who let me know that not only does she and the kids all really miss me, but the children who should be in primary school have gone a few times but due to the lack of funding, they can’t keep going on a regular basis. now that, that is a problem. my mind keeps running back to those kids, not to the petty shit that people whinge and complain about here. I simply just don’t have time to think about it – not when there’s 50 or so kids in nairobi that are somewhat dependant on me sending donated money over on a regular basis to ensure they keep getting lunch and/or medication if they’re sick.
sorry, that was a bit of a rant, but this site has always been about me being honest about things I was doing/seeing/feeling/experiencing overseas – I don’t see why that can’t translate to here in australia.
however, if there’s one thing I do love about being home, it’s being constantly surrounded by people who speak my language. it’s also being surrounded by my family, immediate and extended. it’s also the men (most of you smell so good, please guys, never stop wearing aftershave/cologne. it’s fantastic). it’s also the coffee – sadly some of the worlds best coffee beans come from east africa but they just don’t know what to do with them once they’ve been grown and picked. all of this has been quite satisfying. so it is nice being home, weird and strangely unsettling – perhaps the first couple of weeks. I do love that I’ve had a grown up interview and will hopefully get a real job very soon. I do love that simple things like I can walk down the street and not have to hold my bag – for fear that I’ll have something stolen from it. I love that I have the freedom to jump in my own car and drive somewhere, and not have to rely on public transport that is so unbearably unreliable! I love how safe australia is. I love that if I want to eat vietnamese food tonight I can, and tomorrow I will eat a souvlaki. I love chowing down a good steak. and lets not forget, I love not eating ugali!! ha ha, so many memories; I still remember eating ugali for the first time in july of 2013 – most of those memories feel like an absolute dream, a lifetime ago.
but what I do miss, terribly, are my host sisters, vicky and makena and
sly miss the kids at little ray of hope & evelyn dearly, as well as the best norwegian/non-volunteer, anna. I miss all the other wonderful volunteers I got to know, and lived with. not only all of this, but I miss the general warmth, generosity and kindness of most africans. that is something you never forget.
“…you will never be completely at home again, because part of your heart will always be elsewhere. that is the price you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place…”
so I should probably say thank you to everybody who read this site… I may have been travelling alone for much of my trip but I never really felt alone; either by getting the stats of how many people read my blog each day, even knowing from what country people people read my blog (yes the world is that stalker-ish… see below. australia, england, america, canada and kenya were the top readers of my blog – plus how could I possibly feel lonely when people from latvia, estonia and the faroe islands were reading my blog #worldwide ). thankyou to IVHQ for being a wonderful organisation to volunteer with, and for recognising my long period of volunteering with you in east africa.
I may have been in the part of the world that no one else travels to, but I definitely had the support of you all when I was there. and for that, I will always be appreciative.
so after all that, after seven months of writing all (or at least most) of my feelings and thoughts down in an extremely public forum, I guess this is the end of this blog for now – until the next trip of course!
all my love, x
travelling alone 