you don’t need no baggage, just get on board

last weekend I developed a decent sore throat, and a pretty disgusting cough but I hate taking antibiotics so I avoided seeing a doctor for a few days. I knew I had some sort of infection, but it wasn’t until I couldn’t really breathe at night and had chest pain that it was probably time to get some treatment. so tuesday afternoon, I went to the clinic under the school and had a decent medical checkup. for 800ksh, about au$11, I found out I was hypotensive, didn’t have asthma, had an upper respiratory tract infection, had tonsillitis and was sent home with 5 days worth of amoxicillin, ibuprofen and cough syrup. despite this, I still have a very husky voice (no it’s not sexy) and I’m still snotty and have a cough, but thank god it’s much much better. 

  

my last few days at school were thankfully not sad ones, but very happy and cheerful ones. lots of laughter and smiles from me and the kids, as well as anna, morton, shelby, masika and braelyn who all came along for my last day. I had made each kid a little lolly bag to take home and enjoy over the easter weekend, and anna’s grandfather gave money so she could purchase an easter egg for each kid too. inevitably, the kids will be sugared out this weekend! however, it is very bloody hard to control 75 noisy and excited kids without a voice! despite this, we still sang songs, danced, and had a great day. 

   

beautiful evelyn. noone works as hard, as selflessly or as tirelessly as she does. a wonder woman, who I very much admire and respect

   

evelyn, agnetta (cook), me, ruth (teaching assistant), gladys (cleaner) and anna

 

I left school at about 3:30pm and had organised a taxi to pick me up at 5pm for my 10:50pm flight. I know that might seem crazy to some of you, but considering taxis are notoriously late and traffic is notoriously bad, I didn’t want to risk it. and I’m very bloody glad I did. taxi didn’t come until 5:30, then it started raining, which freaks kenyans out, and the traffic was horrible. it took almost 3 hours to drive from kawangware to the airport – a 24km journey. at one point, we sat still for almost 30minutes. to say I was freaking out would be an understatement. I’m not usually an anxious person, but when it comes to flying and being at airports, I’m practically obsessive compulsive. the earlier I’m there, the better. 

before I left, I was verrrry happy to have a final tusker beer, chips and kachumbari at my favourite place – volcano, with the beautiful humans who spent my last day at school with me. yes I was sad to leave, yet so happy because I know I’ll be back… again and again.

kwaheri for now, kenya. see you next year. x

  

 

I don’t have many and I don’t have much

thanks to so many of you wonderful humans, I fundraised quite a substantial amount of money for little ray of hope before I arrived here. I had an idea of how the money was going to be spent; new shoes, uniforms, stationary etc and that’s exactly how it’s been spent.

28 kids out of 75 desperately needed new shoes as theirs were falling apart, had holes or were inappropriate to walk to school in (think ballet slipper style shoe). there are a lot of nasty things on kenyan streets and roads, so covering up the kids feet as much as possible ensures their safety and less likely to step on something that could go straight through the shoe. so we had two men from the shoe company bata come to school and measure all the children’s shoe sizes and order accordingly as to who needed the shoes. for brand new leather and reinforced sole school shoes, it cost au$520, approximately $18 per pair of shoes. not bad considering how much parents at home spend on school shoes. 

 

   

   

similarly, many of the kids needed new sweaters because theirs are frayed, have holes or simply because they don’t fit anymore. it’s kind of important for every kid to have at least some form of sweater, particularly because kenyans, infact probably all africans, feel the cold, even when it’s not cold. it’s not uncommon for me to arrive at school on a lovely 28 degrees celcius day and see the kids wrapped up in at least 4 layers: tshirt, school dress/shirt, sweater and jacket. it astounds me that so many layers are needed. so I went to the biggest uniform supplier shop in yaya shopping centre and purchased 25 brand new navy sweaters in three different sizes, as a starting point. that cost about au$240, and infact if I find that more children need them, I will purchase more. 

  

stationary is always in need of a top up, and thanks to some wonderful people from home, I already had some colouring pencils and crayons to donate, but there’s always more to purchase, especially when buying for seventy five kids. chalk, modelling clay, grey lead pencils, sharpeners, erasers, masking tape, pens for teachers, learning posters for the walls… the list is often endless but it’s because everything gets used so often. and it is used right down the the very end. absolutely no wastage.

 

  

these photos can’t give justice to just how much new shoes, jumpers, stationary etc will assist the little rays of hope in school this year. and your continued support is amazing and will carry us through. even though so many of these kids are too young for school, their being here means they aren’t on the street trying to make an income. it means they get a head start at their schooling. it means they aren’t left at home to cook and clean while mum/dad/carer is out looking for work. it means that they get a chance to become whoever or whatever they want to be; that they aren’t just forced to merely survive. that they get the same chance you and I had when we grew up to choose what we wanted to be. that’s why I’m doing this.

anything that is not spent on this trip will be used to continue supporting the school: purchasing food for the kids throughout the year, school supplies, teachers upkeep and office items, as well as placed in savings for our ultimate goal of buying a block of land and building a school – somewhere where the kids than play and not be crowded. 

that’s a dream which will take some time, but we will continue working towards until it comes true. x

I see love when I close my eyes

a week here already? that’s insane. it never ceases to amaze me how fast time goes here, and yet sometimes the days are so slow. I’ve got right back into understanding and knowing the whole ‘africa time’ thing, I had to get used to that pretty fast. here, things will happen as they will; no point rushing or trying to fasten them up, everything is just pole pole… slowly slowly. 

anyway, this week has been busy and honestly, it’s been pretty tiring. I forgot how hard it is being on your a-game at school all the time, trying to control 75 kids and trying to speak the very little swahili I remember. 

breakfast of sweet bananas purchased from the carts on the side of the road. these are the world’s best bananas, I’m australian and ‘apparently’ we grow great bananas but they ain’t got shit on these kenyan bad boys. breakfast might also be peanut butter on toast, or a few cups of tea, or milo, or really good honey wheat puffs I got from the local market. 

I head off to school between 9:30/10am and it’s about a 5-10 minute walk (depends how many people shout out at me or try to walk with me or yell and tell me to go back to my country; if that happens, it might be shorter than 5 minutes)

 

the rooms on the first level on the left is where the school is

  

  

a poster I made last time

   

I walk into the compound, up the stairs, along the walk way and into the ‘apartment’ where the school is and greet evelyn, then walk into thunderous cheers by both the baby/nursery class and the pre-unit class… every single morning without fail I walk into a huge “yay!!” from them all. by the time I arrive, the kids have usually had their first lesson of the day and it’s time to do some marking. I sit across from evelyn at her ‘desk’ (table in the middle of the first room) and start marking. lessons could be joining the dots for letters “a b c” that we’d written in their bikes the day before to prepare for today, or it could be them copying patterns from the board, or writing numbers 1 to 20 in their books. this is no easy feat for the baby/nursery class as they’re as young as 2 years old in there, so poking someone in the arm with a grey lead pencil is more fun than learning how to hold it and write the number 8 – especially when you’re two years old. 

   

 

once the marking is done, it’s usually time for uji – the porridge made of millet, corn meal and sorghum flour, and occasionally the mix has rye flour and/or oats. it’s really thick in texture and sweetened with a lot of sugar! for 75 kids, we usually go through 50kg of sugar in one month!! The uji itself is sort of purple and sludgy, but it’s really good for the kids, really filling and quite nutritious. we say our prayers, and everybody takes their porridge. except for us teachers, we take chai (which when I was here last, did used to be tea but now we take boiled milk and hot chocolate powder) and mandazi (deep fried unsweetened dough).

   

biscuits as a treat!

   

next we do another lesson. it could be anything from making things from modelling clay or colouring in or singing songs, and then writing homework off the board into the homework books. this time is usually quite hectic as the kids now have a whole lot of energy from their uji, whereas sometimes of a morning they can be quite sluggish as many may not have had anything to eat since lunchtime yesterday at school. it’s hard work, particularly trying to keep 37 kids under the age of 5 in a 3m x 4m room settled and not jumping on tables too much.

  

lunchtime is great as everyone gets a bowl of something hot, filling and delcious for lunch. it could be ugali and sukuma wiki (boiled corn flour and cooked kale), rice and beans, rice and brown beans or githeri (corn and bean stew). this is something that I started when I was first here in 2013, when the school had been forgotten about, ignored and dumped by its american founder. many of the kids may only receive very little dinner at home – if anything at all – so it’s good being able to fill their bellies as best we can at school. we say our prayers again, and time to eat. this is usually the quietest moment of the whole day; except for yesterday being friday, they were all a little crazy. 

plates for everyone

  

ugali and sukuma wiki. in my opinion, the worst meal. proves I’ll never be a good kenyan

 

more songs or maybe some colouring after lunch and it’s already time to put put the homework books in their backpacks and get ready to head home. mums, dads or guardians come to the school to pick up their kids as its too dangerous for them to walk alone in certain places or too far to walk alone. the last job of the day is to administer any medications that certain kids need. it’s the school who takes the kids to the doctor if they fall ill, not the parents, so part of the monthly upkeep of the school is also to allow for doctor visits, prescriptions and medications.  

  

 

so many funny things happen in between all of this though. one of the little boys, franklin, cried on my first day as I was a different person and I wasn’t anna. but the next day, when I was teaching the kids to do thumbs up, he couldn’t stop smiling and doing thumbs up – so much so that our thumbs had to touch. whenever the kids have a problem, they always run up to Evelyn and say “teacher, teacher, ………..” and then explain the issue in swahili. I love it though when they run to me and try and tell me what the matter is, in swahili, and then look at me with their big beautiful eyes waiting for me to fix the issue, to respond in some way. to them I’m just the same as them, I’m another human so I must speak the language they speak. It’s the kids that make me love being here, not the adults. the pure innocence of children; they remind us that love is universal and that we are born to love and respect each other. 

unfortunately as everyone grows, attitudes change – particularly towards people of a different colour as I as reminded yesterday. it happened the last time I was here, and again yesterday. walking home from school with anna, shelby and her baby braelyn, some random guy shouted across the road that us ” mzungus should go back to our own countries”. sarcastic or not, that’s the behaviour that frustrates me to no end when I’m in kenya. mate trust me, I can see for myself that my skin colour is quite different to yours but can you imagine if we reciprocated that kind of behaviour at home? the court cases, the defamation, the slander and racism. it’s not tolerated there, and I most certainly wouldn’t shout out “black guy” to one of the many sudanese people we have in melbourne, so I don’t understand why shouting out mzungu is okay here. I hated it last time – for six months I hated it – and guess what? I’m back and I hate it just as much. the kids on the street who call out mzungu is acceptable because why? kids don’t know any better. but adults? no. I vividly remember as a kid if I saw someone who “looked different”, mum always told me and my sister not to stare but here, staring is all kenyans in what to do when someone ‘different’ walks past. 

though after this rant – and I can remember writing something like this last time I was here, I remember it like it was yesterday – I still wish I wasn’t leaving Kenya in less than a week.

 

and time is forever frozen still



most of you know how much little ray of hope means to me, and if you haven’t caught on, that’s why I’m back in kenya. walking to school on monday morning felt weird; just as everything has since I got here. it definitely doesn’t feel as though I left africa two years ago, went home, got a big girl job, worked for a while and then returned. it’s as if I literally went home for a smidge of time and now I’m back – but sadly not for the same six month duration. walking up the same road I walked for months and nothing changed. I don’t exaggerate when I say nothing. the same shops line the road, the same people sit in their shop fronts, the same adult idiots shout out mzungu (maybe different idiots but idiots nonetheless), the same smell of decomposing animals, burning plastic, dumped rubbish, typhoid infested water, animal and/or human shit, body odour and smoke. 



 





I know I was teary when I saw anna at the airport, but nothing could’ve prepared me for the waterworks that flowed from my eyes when I walked up the stairs of the apartment building the school is in and into the classroom – only to be met with a huge warm smile from evelyn. I sobbed. and I couldn’t really stop. the love I have for this place, this incredibly selfless and tireless woman, and the kids, is indescribable. 

the hard part after that was then saying hi to all the kids, only to have them see my reddened eyes and tears down my cheeks – the same worried look on their faces that so many had when I said goodbye in 2013. I tried my best to explain they were happy tears; but for children who are 3 years old or younger and don’t even speak swahili let alone english, my attempts at making myself feel less like an over emotional wreck were somewhat futile. they were beautiful though, the kids. in both classrooms, I walked in and received the most thunderous cheer and when I asked if those who knew me remembered my name, it was in unison: “victoria!” yep, there’s goes the waterworks again. I have a lot to thank my mother for. 



so many new faces to learn, so many little humans with their own stories. many of the kids I knew from last time are still here, just two years older and almost unrecognisable. some children were moved into the country with their family or with guardians as nairobi has become too dangerous and too expensive to survive in.  





one of my little angels who I fell head over heels for in 2013, christabel, was only 3 when she came to little ray of hope after her very young mother (only 14 years old) died whilst giving birth to her. she had such a beautiful little grin and loved skipping and colouring in. she isn’t at the school anymore, and I asked evelyn if she knows if christabel has moved into the countryside – like so many of the little ones I knew here. she told me that the lady who was caring for her was married and her husband didn’t care for christabel or that his wife was looking after her. so he banned her from the house and asked his wife to take her elsewhere. no one has seen her since; evelyn has heard that she could be in kibera (the biggest slum in nairobi and second biggest slum in the world) or in eldoret (a town very west of nairobi) but no one is sure. my heart broke hearing this. god only knows where this little angel is, if she is safe or even alive. I hate this place sometimes; it’s cruel heart-wrenching reality breaks the hardest of hearts.



christabel giving me a huge hug before I left in october 2013



 I also got to spend the whole day with beth, the little abandoned bub who evelyn has now adopted, and was named after my sister. man has she grown, and she is definitely wary of strangers. she cried this first time I dtried to hug her, and then as the day went on, she warmed to me and ended up running (yes she’s only 18 months old) into my arms. what a lucky little girl; I would hate to think what may have happened to her if evelyn hadn’t agreed to care for her. such a beautiful natured little munchkin.





it’s been an emotional three days at school, and I’ve barely scratched the surface. x

does it almost feel like nothing changed at all?

after what felt like a lifetime away from nairobi, I returned during the week only to arrive and it felt like I’d never left. it was like I’d come home, which is ironic considering only a couple of months ago I wrote about never thinking I’d find a place I could live in other than australia.

en route to kenya

was up ridiculously early to get the bus from arusha on wednesday morning, and slept for most of the 6ish hour journey. I thought it was a lot less than that the last time I did the bus but I always forget about the delays when you’re at the border and waiting for people to get their visas sorted. thankgod for the ‘east africa agreement’ though, as it turns out I didn’t need to get a new kenyan visa – something I thought was necessary because I only had a single entry visa, not a multiple entry – both in kenya and tanzania. winning! saved US$100 (but I still would have paid it if it meant I could go back to kenya…)

anna met me in the city and we got the bus home together, whilst it pissed down with rain. excellent, I didn’t bring any warmish clothes with me from tanzania (that said, I only have my denim jacket) so I was definitely saturated in my new hippy pants, cream singlet and scarf. gotta love wearing a black bra under a now see-through shirt as it rains… as if my white skin wasn’t enough reason for people to stare. spent a good hour on the bus home from the city, then straight to ‘volcanoes’ for coke, chips and kachumbari (the best tomato, onion, coriander and green chilli salsa in the world). I was so hungry so I ordered two plates of chips and two serves of kachumbari and nearly finished all of it, until I was about to burst. god I missed this.

quickly bought a few necessities at the local supermarket (aka the things that are supplied in tanzania but not in kenya: toilet paper, water, tea bags and milk… a girl can’t live without her tea) and then home to say hi to my beloved sisters, makena and vicky, our housekeeper jane and my host mum, regina. it was so good to see them again, makena’s face was priceless as I walked in the door. coming from tanzania where I hadn’t had water or electricity for 4 days, I did my washing which was about 3 weeks overdue and had the worlds best shower. never would I have thought I would miss the shower I hated so much when it gives you electric shocks and doesn’t have a drainage hole except for a cracked tile in the corner. heaven. I also managed to score not only my old room but also my old bed, and felt utterly content as I went to sleep that night. probably the first time I’ve felt as comfortable as I would at home in a long while.

the next morning, I was off to ‘little ray of hope’ to surprise the kids. I’d told evelyn I was coming, but she told me she’d keep it a surprise from the kids. and man, were they surprised. I was welcomed with the usual cheers and screams, but then a few of the girls came up to me and said “why did you cry?” in reference to the day I left them and I was a blubbering mess. then one girl, ivy, said “will you cry again?” to which I told her, “I hope not!”. I didn’t stay too long on thursday as the kids were still finalising their examinations, including reading and writing, and I didn’t want to be too much of a distraction. thursday night we went out for dinner with a few other people staying at regina’s who I had met before I left, as it was ashley’s 26th birthday, we had a bloody awesome meal at habesha ethiopian restaurant… why kenyan food doesn’t taste as good as ethiopian kills me. it’s got so much flavour, I need to start researching the best ethiopian restaurants for when I get home to melbourne.

friday I was back at school to spend it with the kids, turns out it was their very last day of school for the year! couldn’t have timed my visit better. we had such a great time, singing the songs I’d taught them (without my ukulele as I left that in tanzania), drawing pictures, counting in english and saying colours in english. the greatest surprise was that the clinic downstairs purchased some food for the kids as it was their last day, so we had sodas (orange, yellow and purple fanta), popcorn, biscuits, caramel lollies, mandazi AND balloons to string up. it was so much fun and such a beautifully happy day, except for trying to tell the kids to ‘kula pole pole’ (eat slowly) because their little tummies are so not used to eating that much food, or that much sugary and salty food. but their grins were absolutely priceless, especially as I sat with them on the floor to eat (they love that); they were so happy and it was such a wonderful treat for their last day of school. I spoke to evelyn who thinks there should be 3 or 4 kids who are should be ready for formal school next year, so they will be our priority for child sponsorship.

meeting little beth

I also got to meet the beautiful little girl that was named after my sister, beth. if you didn’t read about her, you can read her story here. she’s had a rougher start to life than most people on this earth but now has so much love in her life, including two older sisters in australia. my heart was breaking when I held her, thinking how could somebody abandon such a beautiful little girl. I understand that circumstances here are difficult, but for fucks sake, if you don’t want to have a child, use a bloody condom. it’s not that difficult. beth is one of the lucky ones, at least she has been adopted by someone who will love and care for her.

evelyn told me the awful story of a little girl who lived close to her, who just learned to walk and wandered away from her home where she was lived with her mother and at least 10 other children, most to different fathers. after an unknown amount of time, the girl was found face down in a ditch by the side of the road, having drowned in the filthy water and sewerage that gathers there. people who found her tried to save her, but it was too late. why don’t stories like this make it to worldwide news? why isn’t this causing the same uproar as the bloody stupid names kanye or beyoncé called their kids? this is a true headline.

bernard’s report card

this is the report card for one of the kids who has been sponsored to go to formal school. bernard is 12 years old, was a street kid after his mother died from HIV, is HIV+ and has cancer (kaposi sarcoma). this year, he worked really hard and has scored 453/500 for his overall year marks. the teachers remarks of ‘let the sky be your limit’ almost made me cry. bernard lives with evelyn, who is unbelievably proud of him. she constantly reminds him, as well as all the older children who have sponsors and are at formal school (part of the older ‘ray of hope’ group; ‘little ray of hope’ refers to the younger children who only started at the school in may of this year), to “work hard, always, because there is someone overseas who is denying themselves to extend money to you as a total stranger so you may study and have a wonderful opportunity”. these kids all deserve to dream as big as we do. this little guy, bernard, is a legend. he is so determined to work hard as he wants to be an artist when he grows up – and he’s talented enough, believe you me.

sometimes we all need a reminder that there is always someone worse off than you.

returning to kenya was good. good for my soul, good for my frame of mind. before I left, I was so sick of this place, then I got to arusha and couldn’t wait to get back to kenya – so it was great to see the country in a different light, as a country I love and look forward to visiting again and again.

there must be sunshine beyond that rain

finally finished all of the children’s profiles this morning, here’s a sneak peak at one…

christabelle, a beautiful three year old girl whose mother was 14 when she gave birth and passed away. she loves colouring and skipping rope. when she grows up, she just wants to be smiling.

have a look at little ray of hope school under ‘our children’ to see all of the profiles on our kids. it’s so hard reading some of their stories, but these kids are so resilient and each one deserves the whole world.

we’re doing it for the kids

for the past month or so, I’ve been in the process of developing a new website for the little legends at ray of hope, now to be called “little ray of hope” – it may seem like only a small name change but will hopefully bring big changes to the futures of these kids. short term goals? ensuring they have food for breakfast and lunch. it may only seem like a small feat, but it means more to these kids than any of us will ever know. long term goals? getting them sponsors to attend formal schools so they can grow up to be the policemen, doctors, pilots and drivers they dream of being. but more on that in the coming month while it all gets (somewhat) finalised.

I’ve tried to bring as many volunteers here over the past three months, so they too can see the incredible life changing acts evelyn does for these kids; how tirelessly she works to get as many children off the streets and starting school.
if anyone ever needs an extra reason to smile, just take a look at the crazy/beautiful kids I get to see (almost) everyday. there is so much love in my heart for them.