six weeks ago I wrote about how difficult it has been to deal with some of the things I’d been since being in africa. I remember thinking that even though some things are really hard to see on a daily basis, but that with some time, I’m sure these things would get easier to deal with.
it felt like there was nothing left to shock or upset me here in africa. until yesterday.
the kids at ‘little ray of hope’ were all tested for HIV, and it was heartbreaking. side note: their parents had to consent to this, as they’re not yet 13 (age to consent for yourself to get tested). most of them were screaming and unbelievably scared, whether this was for the needle prick required to gather the blood for the sample, or for the test itself, I don’t know. yes I know it’s a great thing for people to know their status, as the earlier you start on ARV (anti-retro viral therapy) drugs, the better. but these kids are between two and a half and six. they’re babies.
out of the ever growing junior class, now at 52 kids, we had one positive result. many would view this as a good ratio, but it’s one positive result too many. it broke my heart. obviously I can’t write their name for privacy reasons, but this kid is only 4 years old. four. a baby. and they’ve got a very hard road ahead of them; even with all the medical advances that are occurring, being HIV positive in africa carries more than its fair share of risk – the stigma that still surrounds being positive here is astounding. being ostracised from your town, village or tribe can be common place. or at the opposite end of the spectrum, some believe it’s not that big of a deal, and you shouldn’t be worried about spreading it, because “having sex with a child can cure you”. that makes me sick – don’t even get me started on how backwards some things are here.
the people who did the testing recognised the child’s last name, and know that one of the parents receives treatment from their clinic. this child’s mum is positive – having a child who is positive is inevitable. and that’s sad too, that this child didn’t really have a chance. they were going to be positive, almost certainly.
but it’s the fact that this had to happen, that we had to organise a day for these kids to be tested. kids at home don’t go to school, line up, get given a number (for anonymity reasons), get their fingers stabbed and bled so they can be tested for HIV. one of the biggest differences between home and here. in fact it’s a huge difference between here and most of the rest of the world. I’m not a parent yet, and I don’t plan to be one for some time, but this felt like one of my own kids who was given a positive result. I was gutted, honestly my heart was hurting. I know this child, I’ve spent the last three months with them – laughing, teaching, playing, smiling. but I won’t treat them any differently now that I know their status, except for maybe a few more cuddles before I leave.
travelling alone 